I often see anonymous letters posted on your platform addressing issues within our community, and I felt inspired to share a thought that I believe could lead to positive change. Am I the only one noticing this problem? When I explain the shidduch system to those outside the frum community, I often find myself embarrassed by its glaring flaws. The concept of the shidduch system is beautiful in theory, but its execution has become bogged down by unhelpful technicalities, causing unnecessary challenges for everyone involved. One particular issue seems to have a simple solution. Many boys and their parents express feeling overwhelmed by the constant flood of resumes they receive, often lacking meaningful context or thought. In contrast, many girls—perhaps the majority—wait in silence, hoping for even a single suggestion. This disparity has become so common that it’s been dubbed “the quiet times.” Efforts to balance this system often result in well-meaning individuals suggesting girls to boys who are already drowning in resumes. But isn’t this only making things worse? We’re adding to the pile without addressing the root of the issue. Isn’t it time to flip the script? What if we normalized girls receiving boys’ resumes first, allowing them to give the initial yes? This simple change could create a more balanced system, where girls receive more opportunities for dates, and boys are given more thoughtful, considered suggestions. We girls are capable of handling rejection if it means improving the system. Taking a more active role could help us tap into the blessings and shidduchim Hashem has in store for us. While tefillos are crucial, so is our physical hishtadlus. Just imagine—having a great shidduch idea, approaching the boy, and politely asking for his resume, just as we would with a girl. May we all merit to hear besoros tovos and see Hashem’s hand in every area of our lives, including shidduchim. A simple change can make all the difference. Signed, A single girl, sitting at home and waiting The views expressed in this letter do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.