Dear Klal Yisroel, Tu B’av is here. I see that there are many inspirational speeches and tzedaka campaigns going on as well as tefilla events. It is truly heartwarming to see how deeply we care about the plight of our daughters, granddaughters, sisters, neighbors and friends; may these tefillos etc. bring positive results with many shidduchim b’karov. I would just like to bring to the attention of my dear fellow yidden that Tu bav was seemingly primarily a day of hishtadlus. Therefore, along with your tefillos, don’t forget to do your basic hishtadlus by reaching out to shadchanim, family and friends. As much as these actions usually leave one feeling that they accomplished nothing, it is still worthwhile. Keep in mind that all you need is one boy and one girl. You never know when your reminder to the shadchan will come at just the right moment when they just met a boy that would be perfect for your daughter. Just because the shadchan did not respond does not mean that he did not get your message (they simply do not have the time to respond to everyone). Unless you are truly an amazing baal bitachon, do not allow lofty ideals of bitachon that great tzaddikim had or have to stop you from doing the basic hishtadlus that you are obligated to do. Let’s not think that we are smarter than our parents, grandparents and most of the gedolai yisroel who did hishtadlus for this just like they did for everything else in life, while knowing t`hat ultimately everything is in the hands of Hashem (I know that several gedolim may have said otherwise but that was still not the way that most of klal yisroel acted שאל אביך ויגדך). Additionally, as Rav Gershon Ribner recently stated, the Roshei Yeshiva who hold the key to solving this man-made shidduch catastrophe are unaware of the extent of the suffering that us common folk are going through. The reason is that firstly, their daughters are sought after by their talmidim and others. Additionally, the simple folk who are going through this crisis are too proud to pour their hearts out to the roshei yeshiva. Therefore, I implore each and every one of you to pick up the phone and for just a few minutes swallow your pride and respectfully let your rosh yeshiva know what is truly going on behind the closed door of thousands of homes. Let them know what is behind that brave mask that we put on every time we venture out into the street and every time we attend a simcha. Plead with them to stop the madness of (needlessly, for the most part) sending bochurim to Eretz Yisroel for such a long period of time and thereby damning thousands of our girls to a life of being alone רח”ל. I want to end with a frightening quote that is brought down in the Haggada of the Tchebiner Rov zt”l, that came out this past year. He writes (this is not an exact quote as I do not currently have access to the sefer) that the reason why the Holocaust happened was because there were many bnos yisroel who could not get married and klal yisroel did nothing to help them. Are we רח”ל guilty of the same? […]