‘I thought that I would never see the light of day again,” former Hamas captive Louis Har told JNS this week.
On Feb. 12, after 129 days in captivity, Har and Fernando Marman were freed from Gaza by Israeli forces in an overnight rescue operation.
Since his return, Har has campaigned tirelessly to help secure the release of the hostages still held by Hamas.
“Somehow, we manage to go on. Physically, I’m okay. I feel more tired, I have less energy than I used to. I almost never sleep. Too many thoughts and too many things to take care of,” said Har.
Some days are harder than others, he explained, but telling his story is an integral part of his recovery.
On Oct. 6, Har slept at a home in Nir Yitzhak. At around 6:30 the next morning, he heard rocket-alert sirens and rushed for safety.
“I told Clara, ‘Really? They’re ruining another Shabbat for us?’ We lived with [the rockets] for over 20 years, it became part of the routine. We entered the safe room with the impression we’d be out 15 minutes later at most,” he said.
Har’s girlfriend Clara’s brother Fernando, sister Gabriela, niece Mia and their dog Bella were also at the home when Hamas launched the invasion. All five gathered in the safe room, nonchalantly keeping the door open and occasionally bringing in food and drinks from the kitchen.
Har remembers Clara bringing the cake she had baked ahead of Simchas Torah, which fell that Shabbos.
“We turned the television on and saw that Hamas terrorists had infiltrated Sderot. They drove a white Toyota off-road vehicle and were shooting in all directions, just to kill. Then, we heard [Israeli] Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu declare that we were at war. The entire time the explosions went on. At one point, we saw black smoke emanating from the entrance to the kibbutz,” Har recounted.
Clara called Nir Yitzhak’s security coordinator, who told her that members of the civilian defense squad knew of the attack and were on the way.
“The entire civilian squad was murdered by Hamas. There was a fire with thick black smoke that was a decoy, part of an ambush. The squad rushed in that direction thinking a rocket had landed close to the entrance of the community. The terrorists were waiting and killed them all,” said Har.
“Obviously, we didn’t know that at the time,” he added.
“We received warnings from people on WhatsApp telling us there were terrorists yelling in Arabic and shooting in all directions inside the kibbutz,” he said, prompting them to properly secure themselves in the safe room.
“Then, we heard glass shattering; the terrorists had started breaking the windows. We understood they had entered our house. We heard them,” he continued. “They started shooting at the door, but didn’t hit us. When they broke through the door, they continued shooting in an upward direction while we were still on the floor. It saved us.”
All five pleaded for their lives. They were eventually driven out of the kibbutz in a White Toyota pick-up, which was caught on a surveillance camera at 11:22 a.m.
“It was such a mess. A lot of Gazans had come to steal things. We saw them pass with bicycles, phones, yelling everywhere and taking everything they possibly could,” Har recounted.
Inside the truck, the Israelis were forced to lie on RPGs, grenades and ammunition. On top of them sat the armed terrorists.
“They had guns hanging from their necks and they were shooting all the time, yelling ‘Allah Akbar.’ We drove like that the whole way,” he said.
“One of their weapons kept banging my head, it was also bothering Clara and at one point she seemed to want to move it. I hit her hand and told her not to even think about touching it. They’d think we wanted to take it and would have shot us,” he continued.
“I ended up with a few wounds from their guns, but at least we were still alive,” he added.
As they drove across the border into Gaza, Har saw Hamas terrorists picking up Israeli corpses and placing them into two ambulances.
Eventually, they arrived at their destination. They were taken out of the vehicle and through a small entrance into a Hamas tunnel.
“Only one person could go down at a time. We held the walls, not to fall. We were barely dressed, some of us were barefoot. We went 30 or 40 meters underground. We were running the entire time,” he recalled.
Two terrorists led, two walked among the group and two followed behind.
“Sometimes we had to crawl on all fours because it was too tight and the ceiling was low. It was pitch dark,” he said.
After four hours on the move, the hostages were taken up makeshift iron stairs and exited the tunnel into a henhouse with geese inside. The girls were dressed in traditional Islamic garb, with only their eyes visible. The group walked between houses and entered another car, which took them to the second floor of a building in Rafah.
“From what I saw through the car window, people were acting as one would on any given day. Children were leaving school, others were buying groceries. It just seemed completely normal,” said Har.
“At each step we interacted with different squads of terrorists. One broke into our house in the kibbutz and took us, another drove the vehicle that kidnapped us into Gaza, another led us through the tunnel, and yet another took us to the building in Rafah,” he continued.
While the building looked unfinished from the outside, it had a kitchen and proper rooms. That evening, the hostages were given bread and canned food generally served to soldiers.
“We gave each one of the terrorists a name in Spanish,” said Har. “The first one to enter our room, we called him the landlord. The first time he interacted with us he was armed, but then he wasn’t. He told us to calm down, that they had abducted us with the intention of closing a deal to exchange us for their people in Israeli prisons. He said they’d keep us safe, that they could get a better price for us” that way, he added.
“He didn’t lie. He kept us safe from his own people, gave us information and the food. But the others, they were barbarians,” said Har.
One of the terrorists continuously badgered the hostages. On Oct. 7, he gloated about the massacre, calling it a historic day. He would tell Clara’s niece Mia, 17, that he’d put a ring on her finger. He’d threaten them by waving a commando knife in their faces. He only guarded them briefly and was then removed.
They stayed there two days and then were moved in the middle of the night to the second floor of another building nearby, where they remained until the end of their captivity.
Har said his captors spoke about a hostage-release deal constantly as part of their psychological warfare campaign.
“Sometimes, they’d come and say everyone is leaving except Luis. Once they asked Mia who she would prefer to leave behind, her dog or me,” he recalled.
“The night before the [November] ceasefire was a difficult night. We heard and felt every explosion. There were strong rains and the glass of the windows broke. It was awful. Then there was silence, and we understood that the ceasefire had been enforced,” he continued.
One hundred and five hostages, mainly women and children, were released over the course of one week as part of the agreement.
“They [Hamas] told us there was a list. At first, they said we would all leave together because we arrived as a family. It didn’t happen. One afternoon, they came and said the girls were leaving but that Fernando and I were staying,” he said.
Clara did not want to leave Fernando and Har behind, even though they were told it would be two or three days before they would be reunited in Israel. She thought it would be better to stay and leave the way they had come—as a family.
“I told Clara there was no way, and that they needed to leave without us. Everything could change in a split second. I convinced her to go and give a sign of life, to tell everyone we would meet again. It was hard for them but they went,” he said.
“That evening, we were allowed to watch television for the first time since the beginning of our captivity, and we saw Mia and her dog Bella get out of the Red Cross jeep. That’s when we started believing that we would get out as well,” he said.
“On Friday, the day we were supposed to be on the list, the explosions started again. When we heard it, Fernando and I looked at each other and said, ‘It’s over for us, we are not getting out’.”
Clara, Gabriela, Mia and Bella were released on day 53 of the war.
Fernando and Har were rescued by the IDF on day 129.
“We dreamt of commandos that would come and save us, but we didn’t want to risk the lives of our soldiers. We thought it was better to be released as part of a deal,” Har told JNS.
“If something had happened to one of our soldiers, to our children, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself,” he continued.
“But we were not the decision-makers, and they came in the middle of the night and launched an incredible rescue operation—managed and executed perfectly,” he added.
Refusing to talk politics, Har would not share his opinion on how to best prosecute the ongoing war against Hamas.
“The only thing that is important for me is bringing all the hostages home. The rest is not my concern,” he said.
Since he was freed, Har has had difficulty sleeping. He said his life was turned on its head, even though he remains grateful.
“I didn’t go back to my routine. Some times are easier than others, but we are different from the people we were. We need to get to know ourselves from scratch. I have not returned to normal life,” he said.
“Telling my story and supporting the families of the hostages helps me, it strengthens me. But I am not the Luis I used to be,” he continued. “There was this one time when it was just too much and my body reacted in an extreme manner. I couldn’t breathe, it felt like I was back in Gaza. But I have control over it, these things happen to me less frequently now.”
Har said he has been warmly embraced by the Israeli public since his return.
“To the families of the hostages, I say be strong. Do what helps you. About two weeks after I was freed, I went back to dancing,” he said. “If you’re a singer, sing, if you like to sew, then sew. But do something, don’t sit and wait while crying.
“We need to be ready to welcome the hostages back because they will arrive in terrible condition. It will be hard work to help them heal,” he said.
(JNS)