Several months ago, YWN published an editorial following a tragic incident in Lakewood where a mentally unstable woman took the lives of her two children. The piece called out those gossiping about the story under the guise of “spreading awareness.” At the time, YWN faced major backlash, accused of vilifying well-meaning people, ignoring those trying to make a positive difference, and misjudging our community’s response to the horrific event. I heard both sides of the debate and found myself on the fence. Rather than choosing a side, I decided to sit back and observe. With all the noise and supposed “awareness campaigns” surrounding the tragedy, I wondered if anything truly positive would come from it. I hoped YWN would be proven wrong, and I would be writing today to urge them to apologize for their harsh criticism. Unfortunately, I’m saddened to say that didn’t happen. Despite all the talk, nothing substantial emerged from the conversations that followed. The “awareness” was nothing more than gossip, and no meaningful initiative or communal action was taken to address whatever issue this tragedy was supposed to highlight. No new organization was formed, no communal response stepped forward to fill any perceived gaps. I am not writing this to defend YWN or their tone in the original op-ed. I still believe it could have been written with more nuance and without sweeping generalizations. However, I felt compelled to respond after reading a separate recent article on YWN citing research from Nishma, which found that Orthodox Jews overwhelmingly believe their weakest middah in bein adam l’chaveiro is in the realm of lashon hara and gossip. The gap wasn’t even close. To me, this reveals something troubling: we, as a community, inherently know when we are engaging in gossip, even when it involves tragic and extremely sensitive circumstances. Yet, when confronted about it, we rush to defend our actions, unwilling to openly admit (beyond anonymous surveys) that we are falling short. As we approach Rosh Hashanah, I hope we can reflect on this. Let’s work on improving our middos, particularly those related to speech. If we can do that, then maybe the next time YWN publishes an op-ed criticizing us, I will be able to confidently write a letter defending our community and excoriating YWN for being motzi laaz about us. Sincerely, A.C.  The views expressed in this letter do not necessarily reflect those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.