The “Shidduch Crisis” has become a painful reality for so many in our community, and I am no exception. Finding a life partner—a goal that should be filled with excitement and hope—has turned into a drawn-out, demoralizing ordeal. This isn’t just a crisis of numbers or compatibility; the entire process is fundamentally flawed. I’ve seen it firsthand, and it’s exhausting. Let’s start with the process itself. You’d think that in a world of modern communication, setting up a date would be straightforward. But no, the delays start the moment a suggestion is made. First, the boy looks into the girl’s resume. This “research” phase can take days, as if dissecting someone’s life on paper could somehow reveal their true essence. When he finally gives the go-ahead, the resume then goes to the girl’s side, where the whole painstaking process repeats itself. By the time both parties agree to meet, a week has already gone by—and that’s assuming everything moves smoothly. Fridays, Shabbos and Yom Tovim are out of the question for scheduling, adding even more restrictions. Then, the first date happens, but let’s be real: you can’t judge someone in one evening. A second date is almost always necessary, and chas v’shalom you schedule it the next day! Oh no, we need at least one gap day, sometimes even a week. If things end after the second date (which happens more often than not), you’re back at square one. You wait for the next suggestion, start reviewing resumes again, and dive back into this maddening cycle. Weeks turn into months, and before you know it, you’re averaging one date every couple of months—if you’re lucky. But what really drives me crazy is the sheer lack of consideration when it comes to communication. Some girls take a week—yes, a full week—to give a simple yes or no to a suggestion. Worse, there are those who don’t respond at all, leaving the shadchan (and the boy) in a frustrating limbo. And after the first date? It’s like pulling teeth to get an answer on whether they’re interested in a second date. A response that should take a few hours somehow drags on for days. These delays are inexcusable and only make an already difficult process even harder. It’s no wonder so many boys find themselves going out with only one or two girls every few months. Before anyone accuses me of blaming only the girls, let’s talk about the boys. Trust me, they have their own set of infuriating flaws. I’ve heard stories that make me cringe—boys chewing with their mouths wide open, eating with their hands (and no, I don’t mean finger food), or asking wildly inappropriate questions like, “How much do you make?” Then there’s the reckless driving. Are they trying to show off? Or are they just that careless? Either way, it’s embarrassing. But the ultimate horror story? A boy who thought it was acceptable to relieve himself in a public park during a date. I mean, what can you even say to that? These kinds of behaviors don’t just ruin a single date—they undermine the entire process. Here’s the bottom line: the inefficiencies, the delays, the lack of respect—it all adds up to a system that feels utterly broken. The frustration isn’t just about how long it takes to […]