A month ago I wrote a letter to Yeshiva World trying to give some context and support to the new Shidduch initiative. I wrote it as a complete outsider to any and all efforts to help with the Shidduch crisis, with my only connection being a witness to the suffering it causes to so many. I wrote the letter simply frustrated with the criticism of people who, before even hearing what the plan is, rush to criticize an effort that Rabbonim have collectively given thousands of hours to formulate and develop to help with such a real and painful problem. Through Hashgacha Pratis I was connected with a Rav involved in the initiative, and I learned that beyond the earlier OU study, Rabbonim recently directed a more comprehensive project tracking thousands of 8th grade graduates from numerous Yeshivas and Bais Yaakovs over the past twenty years. This data collection—categorized by age, year, school, and community—provides conclusive evidence that intervention is necessary. While the Rabbonim have guided against public release of the statistics for now to prevent unhelpful anxiety and hurt, they’re preparing the data to share privately with interested parties (you can request to receive the data when it’s anonymized for the public by emailing info@adeiad). That said, having had a window into the incredible effort by Gedolei Torah, Roshei Yeshiva, and Rabbonim to do for Klal Yisrael and Bnos Yisrael in this extremely busy time of the year—giving away hours upon hours to work on various plans that will unfold in the coming months to introduce and launch the initiative to the community—I feel compelled to do my part as a random member of the tzibur, not a Rav, askan or anything – just a Yid that cares. The reality is that this issue affects people differently. For some, it’s merely an academic discussion—an actuarial debate that can be researched gradually over decades. But for many of us—perhaps the silent majority – who have lived through this parsha ourselves, as singles, as parents, or as witnesses to family and friends struggles—we know this is not merely a theoretical discussion. It’s a painful reality causing real, raw and ongoing human suffering that often goes unrecognized. Because not everyone understands the depth of this pain, they may not grasp the urgency of this initiative. Therefore, we all need to speak up why coming together as a Tzibur is so crucial now. So I turn to you, the reader, and ask: If you go to sleep with a lump in your throat seeing your daughter come back from yet another younger friend’s chasuna, while she has been waiting for years and hasn’t dated in 10 months – please speak up and tell your Rav about the pain. Tell him you’re ready to do things differently. If you bite your lip seeing your daughter davening so intensely for her shidduch for so many years, and wish you could somehow help – please speak up and tell your son’s Rosh Yeshiva about the pain. Tell him you’re ready to do things differently. If your heart aches for the thousands of singles dreading spending a three-day Yom Tov either alone or surrounded by their younger married siblings and their children – please speak up and tell your daughter’s seminary principal about the pain. Tell her you’re ready to […]