Dear Matzav Inbox,
As a young frum family, we are finding it increasingly impossible to make ends meet, even as we tighten our belts and cut back on anything that’s not absolutely essential. It’s hard to imagine how anyone in our situation is expected to save or even plan for the future when the day-to-day costs are so overwhelming.
To break it down: the basic necessities alone add up to thousands of dollars each month. Let’s start with rent—at $2,000, this is often a modest apartment in a frum neighborhood. Utilities run us about $350 a month – often more – just to keep the lights on and the heat  and A/C functioning. That costs us $650 each month together. Gas and tolls for commuting to work and for the kids’ schooling adds another couple of hundred bucks. Health insurance is another $500. Then there’s the cost of groceries and other basic necessities, like toiletries, which costs us at least $500 a week.
I didn’t mention clothes, medical bills, dentist bills, life insurance, simple things like haircuts and oil changes, therapy (yes, some of our children need that), shul membership, school dinners, and other things like that.
This leaves us with only the bare essentials, no luxuries, no indulgences, and no cushion for emergencies.
But that’s not the whole picture. What about school tuition? The average cost for a frum family with 4 children or so can easily be over $2,000 per child. That’s another crushing blow to our budgets. There are also the additional costs for school supplies and uniforms.
Then there’s the hidden costs of “keeping up appearances.” How many young families can afford the necessary clothing for their children for each season? Shoes alone can cost $100 per pair, and that’s just one item in an ever-growing list of essentials. Additionally, things like newspapers/magazines, simcha gifts, and tzedakah donations add more strain.
Let’s not forget the mental and emotional toll of this relentless financial burden. The constant anxiety about making rent each month, about scraping together enough for groceries and tuition fees, creates a tension that no one should have to carry.
The question remains: How are we supposed to save any money, or even have the ability to plan for the future?
I am in my thirties, with my spouse, and we are trying to raise children as frum ehrliche Yidden, but the math simply doesn’t add up. At the end of the month, after we’ve accounted for all of these expenses, there’s nothing left. We are just getting by—and sometimes, not even that.
It’s time for a broader conversation about the crippling costs of frum family life. We need a change—a way to help families like mine, who are working hard and trying to live according to our values, but are finding it increasingly impossible to do so without falling behind. The current system is unsustainable, and we are crying out for someont to do what they can to alleviate the growing financial strain on young frum families.
We simply cannot go on like this.
Sincerely,
A Frustrated Young Parent
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