I am a choson a few short weeks away from my chasunah. Being engaged brings about many new feelings and emotions in all that experience it, but very few have experienced an engagement like mine, considering that, as mentioned, I will iy’H be getting married in just a short time, but still do not know where or exactly when my chasunah will be. What would have been utterly impossible and totally frightening for any choson or kallah to even imagine just a few short months ago, (who can even remember the world pre-corona?) is something that myself and many others now have to face as harsh reality. When the reports began filtering in about the effect of Coronavirus on chasunas and other simchos in Eretz Yisroel, that were forced to take place in places and circumstances that defied ones imagination, my friends and I, as well as the community at large, regarded these reports with the same regard we have for much else; something humorous to read about and watch, and then we promptly forwarded it along to the next person, simultaneously forgetting about it entirely. But as Corona drew ever nearer, and the stories were no longer six thousand miles away, but around our very block and in our own neighbors backyard, I was confronted with the undeniable truth. I would be going through this as well. As much as I tried to deny it, it became difficult to convince myself that I would have the wedding that was so firmly planted in my dreams for years, considering that the number of levayahs taking place per day in Lakewood outnumbered the number of minyanim being held. The feeling of utter helplessness and depression overcame my entire being, as my weak shield of denial broke from the sharpness of actuality. For years I had dreamed and discussed, planned and imagined, designed and configured, the absolute picture – perfect chasuna, that would one day be my own. I had it all worked out, the singer, hall, songs, invitations and many other components that I had hand picked based on what I liked by the dozens of chasunahs I had been to throughout my bochur years. I planned on turning it into a memorable night, not only for me, but for all the guests as well. I had never even considered the option of something of simpler tones, feeling that it was my right, at this stage in life, to receive what all my peers had got. Knowing that the financial burden on my parents was straining in the easiest of times, and desperate in the worst, did nothing to sway my opinion on what I deserved on my big day. If they love me, I reasoned, then this shouldn’t be out of their range, as long as I wasn’t expecting to much more then the norm. If everyone elses parents manage, mine will also. How could it be then, that at long last, with the big day just around the corner, everything I had planned would not actually happen? Why is it fair that all my friends should get the chasuna of their dreams, but I had to suffer with less then standard Bar Mitzvah accommodations? Why? I attempted to draw chizuk from many years of schmuezzen I had heard throughout […]
The post MAILBAG: Feelings From A Chosson Getting Married During COVID-19 appeared first on The Yeshiva World.