You know the expression, time heals all wounds? Or, forgive and forget? Well, sometimes that just doesn’t happen, try as you may. When I was a young teenager, I was enrolled in a new Yeshiva high school that had just formed a couple of years prior to my enrolling. My young, recently married teacher was also our Rosh Yeshiva. The yeshiva was very resolute in establishing a reputation in being second to none, and would thus place burdens upon the students to perform at very high levels. Yeshiva’s schedule was approximately from 7 am until 9 pm. I couldn’t learn at that level of intensity, so-needless to say-my minutes weren’t fully maximized. The vibes that I received from the faculty were that I was a liability to the institution. A pariah, if you will. Perhaps what was most painful was that every time my parents received an update, they could never find anything nice to say about their son or his development. It stung. And worse, it deteriorated the relationship between me and my parents. The hanhala had no idea of the personal struggles that I was going through that made ideal concentration on learning unfeasible. If they knew, perhaps they wouldn’t have judged. Now, decades later, I am not angry at the Rosh Yeshiva, because at the time he was young and inexperienced. It was like he knew how to transmit information but had no training (presumably) or tools to care for souls. Thus, how can I hold a grudge? He was ill equipped. Granted. Nonetheless, I truly wish he’d do a personal introspection and reckoning and one day surprise me with a phone call requesting forgiveness for times he inflicted anguish, perhaps being totally oblivious to it at the time. Do any mechanchim really make that cheshbon hanefesh of upon whom they may have left a scar of pain, and reach out with humility and reconciliation? I truly hope that mechanchim that read this will take my words to heart and see the awesome responsibility that you carry. It’s not easy having the toughest job on earth! Name withheld upon request. NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN. DO YOU HAVE AN OPINION YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE POSTED ON YWN? SEND IT TO US FOR REVIEW. (YWN World Headquarters – NYC)