Whether the threat was abusive Hamas guards, hunger, illness or Israeli strikes, there were moments during Tal Shoham’s 505 days of captivity in Gaza when he didn’t think he’d be alive the next morning. There were “many times that I separated from life and … tried to accept death,” the 40-year-old Israeli, who also holds Austrian citizenship, told The Associated Press. “There are so many ways to die there.” Shoham was one of dozens of hostages released from Gaza in February as part of a ceasefire agreement between Hamas and Israel that has since been broken. His wife, two children and three other family members were also kidnapped on Oct. 7, 2023, and were freed a month later. Shoham said he spent half his captivity in apartments and the rest in underground tunnels. He was sometimes bound, starved, beaten and threatened with death, and initially didn’t know if his family was alive. After his wife was released, Shoham said, someone identifying himself as a member of Hamas called to warn her not to talk about what she’d been through or they’d kill her husband. So as he recounted his own experience, Shoham said there were details he wouldn’t discuss, fearful of endangering remaining hostages. Shoham was kidnapped while visiting relatives in Kibbutz Be’eri. When Hamas attacked, he and his family hid in a safe room meant to offer protection from incoming rockets. But as the terrorists pried open a window and used explosives to try to break in, the family surrendered, a decision Shoham credits with saving their lives. Shoham was thrown into the back of a vehicle and taken into Gaza, not knowing what happened to his wife or children. Be’eri was among the hardest-hit communities that day. Before being separated, Shoham recalled telling his now 9-year-old son that he didn’t know if they were going to die. “I didn’t want him to hear a lie from me, if it’s the last minutes of our life,” he said. Upon entering Gaza, a terrorist jumped on the car’s roof, pointed his gun at Shoham and told him to kneel. But Shoham refused, not wanting to be killed on their terms, he said. He said the terrorist had “murder in his eyes.” Shoham was first taken to an apartment that his captors said was in northern Gaza. He spent weeks there, handcuffed and confined to a room. About a month later, he was moved to another apartment and joined by Evyatar David and Guy Gilboa-Dalal, hostages he would spend most of his captivity with. The two men were abducted from a music festival in southern Israel where at least 364 people were killed and dozens more taken hostage. Hearing about the conditions of their captivity made Shoham feel lucky about his own. They’d been kept in more uncomfortable zip-tie handcuffs, with plastic bags on their heads, he said, and fed one pita per day. The three lived in that apartment for months, where they endured daily beatings. Guards would taunt and humiliate them, asking how the music festival was and making shooting noises, Shoham said. Forbidden by their captors from speaking, they got to know each other through furtive whispers. To humanize himself in the eyes of his captors, and hopefully make them less likely to kill him, Shoham learned Arabic […]