By Rabbi Moshe Dov Heber
Yomim Noraim is from the most uplifting parts of the year. It is a time where we reflect on the past, connect through Tefillah and daven for our future. It’s also a time that children around Middle School age often find challenging. They are old enough that they understand there is a significance of these days but sometimes too young to give it the proper respect. They want it to be special days but they often come unprepared for the long davening and find themselves wandering the halls.
Over the years teaching these grades I have found an interesting solution. That solution is a few minute conversation with your child. Just as you prepare a menu for the meals, map out a plan for davening with your child. Every child is different and their needs are different so just because children their age could handle x amount of time in shul doesn’t mean they could. However, a conversation about getting the necessary items for your children, the proper seats and discussing shul times could go a long way.
The conversation could include these four points:
1) Siddurim- There is a plethora of options, in all shapes, sizes, color and translation. There is all Hebrew, side by side translation and interlinear. Ask your child which one they would gain most from or have your child choose one that fits them.
2) Extra Seforim- There are many beautiful seforim that could help boys with their Tefillah. For example, Pathway to Prayer on Yomim Noraim is a line by line explanation of the Shemoneh Esrei. Many talmidim have remarked to me that when using it they understood the words and connected to the Tefillah. Children may also need an inspirational book on the side for times when they need a “break” from davening.
3) Seats- When a child is old enough to have his own seat, he won’t enjoy being seated as an add on next to his parent. If the child feels he could handle most of the davening, consider getting him his own seat.
4) Time- Making a plan of when they will be in shul and when they could take a break, could go a long way. With implementing the previous steps properly often children could be in shul for much longer and begin to connect in the most special way to Tefillah.
Hopefully this could help our children have the proper framework for the Yomim Noraim which could propel them for years to come. I constantly tell the boys “The only way to learn how to daven is by davening”. Meaning: to come to connect to daven, one needs to get used to davening and be fluent in the beautiful words. Let us help our children begin their life changing journey!
Rabbi Moshe Dov Heber is a Middle School Rebbi in Yeshiva K’tana of Waterbury, the Director of the Mishmar Evening Program in Waterbury and Division Head in Camp Romimu. He is a frequent contributor to various publications on areas related to education as well as speaks publicly on various topics. To share a story or comment on an article, Rabbi Heber can be reached via email at mdheber@ykwaterbury.org.