A halachic debate has emerged over whether weddings may be held during Bein HaMetzarim—the three-week period between the 17th of Tammuz and Tisha B’Av—amid the ongoing war between Israel and Iran.
While Sephardic Chief Rabbi Rav Yitzchak Yosef has ruled leniently in light of the national crisis, permitting weddings for both Sephardim and Ashkenazim during this time, Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi Rav Kalman Ber has published a formal halachic response presenting the opposite view.
As previously reported by Matzav.com, Rav Yitzchak Yosef emphasized in a public psak that couples should not postpone their weddings due to the war. He wrote: “There is no greater sha’as hadchak (pressing circumstance) than this,” encouraging even those who generally follow stringent customs to be lenient this year. “One who is stringent will end up losing more than he gains,” Rav Yosef concluded.
However, in a detailed halachic letter responding to marriage registrars inquiring about Ashkenazi practice this year, Rav Kalman Ber ruled unequivocally that weddings remain prohibited during Bein HaMetzarim, despite the current wartime conditions.
In his response, Rev Ber laid out the foundational reasoning behind the long-standing Ashkenazi custom—as well as that of many Sephardic communities—not to hold weddings during this period. “Mourning and joy,” he wrote, “are inherently contradictory. One cannot combine the two.”
He added that these days are considered lo siman milsa—an inauspicious time for joyous events such as marriage—and that danger, even potential, carries greater weight than a standard prohibition. “Chamira sakanta me’issura—danger is treated more seriously than a simple prohibition,” he wrote, emphasizing that no halachic authority has permitted weddings during this time, especially not with celebratory feasts.
Rev Ber further noted that even on the night of the 17th of Tammuz, which marks the beginning of Bein HaMetzarim, the poskim did not allow weddings, even in extenuating circumstances.
Calling on the public to uphold the traditions of their forefathers and mourn the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, Rev Ber encouraged all to refrain from weddings during this period. However, he clarified that Sephardim who follow the custom of permitting weddings until Rosh Chodesh Av may of course continue to do so.
He concluded: “Kol hamesabeil al Yerushalayim zocheh v’roeh b’simchasa—whoever mourns for Yerushalayim will merit to see its joy.”

{Matzav.com}