Dear Matzav Inbox,
I’ve read the discussions on Matzav.com about prices, overpaying, and trying to save a few dollars here and there. But I have a different problem, and I need to speak from the heart because this is weighing on me in a way that I can barely describe.
I’m making over $300,000 a year, and as a frum Yid, I’m in debt. Yes, you read that right. I’m in debt! And before you start thinking I’m spending money on extravagant vacations or driving a fancy car, let me tell you—I don’t overspend. I’m not living a lavish lifestyle. I’m just trying to keep my head above water, to live an ehrlich Yiddishe life, and support my family of seven children.
And I’m drowning.
Let’s break it down.
First, everything I earn is on the books, so the IRS siphons off an insane amount of my income for taxes. It hurts beyond words.
Between my mortgage, car payments, health insurance (which, by the way, is sky-high for a family our size), car insurance, and tuition—oh, the tuition!—it’s a miracle if I have anything left over.
Then add in simchos, groceries (you know what it costs to feed a large family today?), basic household items, clothing for the kids, medical bills, utility bills, camp fees, and a thousand other random everyday expenses that pop up out of nowhere.
I’m telling you, it’s not possible.
It’s just not possible to make it.
Imagine—who would have ever thought that a person making $300,000 a year could not support his family? Not normal! Mamish not normal.
I sit at the end of the month, looking at my bank account, and I feel like I’m in a bad dream. How did we get here? How is it that the money I work so hard for, that I thought would secure my family’s future, doesn’t even stretch to cover the basics?
I thought maybe I was losing my mind, that something must be wrong with the way I’m budgeting or planning. But then I started talking to friends, other hardworking Yidden in the same income range, and you know what? They’re in the same boat! One friend told me he just made a bar mitzvah and a wedding, and he’s earning even more than I am, and he’s in chovos up to his neck. He can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel either.
Years ago, if someone would have told me I’d be making this kind of money, I would have thought I’d be a gvir. I would have been thrilled, thinking I’d be able to give tzedakah generously, help others, and live comfortably. And now, I’m just struggling to make ends meet. I’m literally not making it to the end of the month. The money is gone before I can even take a breath, before I can even think about how to stretch it further.
I’m not writing this letter for sympathy from Matzav readers. Actually, I don’t know why I’m writing it. Maybe I’m just in pain and feel so alone. There are so many of us out there, Yidden who are working hard, earning what used to be considered a respectable income, and still, we’re sinking. The pressures on a frum family today are immense, and the costs are overwhelming.
We’re just trying to live an ehrlich, Torahdige life, to raise our children b’derech haTorah, and somehow, the system is broken. Something has to change, because this is not sustainable. We can’t keep going on like this, constantly worrying, constantly stressed, constantly in chovos, even when we’re supposedly making good money. It’s not right. It’s not what any of us expected, and it’s certainly not what we were promised.
So what do we do? I don’t have the answers, but I know this conversation has to keep going. We need to speak up and share our struggles, because only when we’re honest about the challenges we’re facing can we hope to find some kind of solution.
Sincerely,
A Broken Breadwinner
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