Dear Sarah Schneirer,
I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I need your help.
Sarah, I need you to look at me. I was a frum chassidishe girl who grew up in the system. I did everything right. I put my kids into a frum chassidishe system, and look at the pain I carry with me.
My daughter was all of twelve and a half years old when she was already rejected from school. I’m not going to go into detail about that—just the dry facts.
Fast forward four years, and my next child, at sixteen, was also rejected from her school. It’s one year later, and now my fifteen-year-old is without a school one week before the new year is supposed to start.
Yay, there’s a school willing to take her, but it comes with a big price tag…
Sarah, did you know that one day, sending our girls to frum schools would become a luxury for the rich?
Did you ever imagine that the introduction to our interviews wouldn’t be as you envisioned, with “We are so happy to have you here! It’s a z’chus to have you with us!” Instead, what we hear is, “These are the rules you need to follow in order for us to even glance in your direction.”
But these rules are made up by some twisted regime to quash our individuality. It’s not halacha. It’s control! Who can outdo the other with rules and chumras to suck out any bit of joy from these girls? “How long is your ponytail?” or “Which shoes are you allowed to wear?”
Is this what you fought all the great Torah giants of your time to achieve? That I have to cry bitter tears year after year for someone to have pity on my innocent girls and allow them to attend and learn in a school—a frum school, no less? And then they say their goal is to instill a true happiness in being a religious Jew and how beautiful Yiddishkeit is? Where is this beauty? You’ve sucked it all out! Where’s the happiness you promised? You’ve ripped it away from these well-meaning parents and girls!
Sarah, do you see the anguish of so many girls going off the derech because of the school system?
Do you see fathers and mothers having heart attacks because they can’t afford the exorbitant tuition fees, and their complete devastation of going from school to school, being rejected and sent away? Children as young as four and five are being turned away!
Tell me, how can an innocent child of five already taste such harsh realities and still believe that Yiddishkeit is beautiful and happy? These schools tear them away. They rip off their cloak of innocence and young joy.
Sarah, do you see the suicide rates of our girls in pain because they’re made to feel useless and unworthy?
Do you also see the cruelty of the school administrations when the money isn’t delivered in a timely manner? The lengths they’ll go to shame and harass the children! Making them leave the room to call home for money, or handing out admission cards to everyone except for one child, leaving them mortified in public.
Is this what you wanted when you trudged through the frigid streets of Krakow, trying to find the young women of your time to give them a true Jewish education? Is this the cornerstone you set for our generation?
Did you ever imagine that this would be the reality for the future mothers of Klal Yisroel?
I have news for you. We are headed for the complete annihilation of our nation—not through Nazis or Communists, not through the Crusades or Bolsheviks, but through our very own educators and school administrations.
Sarah, you used to knock on doors to get girls to come to your school. You knew that otherwise our nation was lost, our heritage gone. Now we are the ones banging on doors. But we only think they’re doors. In essence, they’re thick, heavy brick walls with no compassionate mother to open them and welcome the girls with a warm embrace. There are only cold people who crave power and control. They savor the image of mothers and fathers prostrating themselves at their feet, begging for mercy like slaves in chains: “Please, please take my child into your holy mosad.”
You would pay us to come to your school.
And look where we are now.
Sarah, you need to intervene. I’ve surrendered!
I may have a few girls home this year for lack of the finances needed to send them to school. I will not take responsibility for the trauma this may cause them. I have no means to support them or pay these fees. I cannot beg anymore! I cannot fight for a culture and community that has failed me and my family—as I’m sure it has failed many others.
Sarah, you are my last hope. Take this information and do with it whatever you see fit. I am bowing my head, but don’t say I didn’t try every avenue out there for us. Now, I surrender it to the universe.
A Mother in Pain
[The letter writer can be reached through Matzav.com at MatzavInbox@gmail.com]
To submit a letter to appear on Matzav.com, email MatzavInbox@gmail.com
DON’T MISS OUT! Join the Matzav Status by CLICKING HERE. Join the Matzav WhatsApp Groups by CLICKING HERE.
The opinions expressed in letters on Matzav.com do not necessarily reflect the stance of the Matzav Media Network.