A recent letter to the Monsey Mevaser highlighted the ongoing tuition crisis that many Jewish families are facing. The parent, writing anonymously, explained their personal financial difficulties in trying to meet the demands of tuition payments while managing other essential expenses. They described their situation, detailing how they have made the decision to prioritize tuition over their mortgage and other vital needs, in the hope that the merit of their children’s education would lead to success. Despite their sacrifices, the parent expressed that their family is struggling to make ends meet, living paycheck to paycheck and unable to cover the full tuition amount for their children, which exceeds $73,000.
The letter read as follows:
Q: “I wrote to you about two years ago regarding the tuition crisis in our schools and unfortunately the situation as it is, compels me to write again. While my personal situation and personal crisis may be mine alone, I am certain that I represent a large portion of the parents in our school system when I say that the current situation cannot sustain itself. The schools need the tuition, many parents cannot afford the tuition requested, and it seems to go downhill from there. The communication between school and parents is sadly deteriorating because of how tuitions are handled.
Here is my story: I have a beautiful family with, baruch Hashem, happy children. My wife is a mechaneches and up until three years ago I was working in a steady job in the ‘klal’ field. These last few years, parnassah has been a strain. We do not take vacations (even for a few hours), we do not send our children to sleep-away camp, and yes, we do go to a bungalow. We are a family of nine, ka”h, in a small three-bedroom home and all of the simchos we have made have been simple. We barely live paycheck to paycheck and we are not making it. The rest of the story is typical – food, clothing, utilities, health and other insurances, auto, Yamim Tovim, school trips, and programs etc. etc. all add on to the total we need to live. Currently, we have one son in beis medrash, two girls in high school (different schools), one son in mesivta and the rest in the same cheder. If we were able to pay full tuition with all of the creative add-ons by the schools, our tuition bill for the current school year would be well over $73,000. (Some of our children would do much better with tutoring but we certainly cannot afford that.) What should we do? What should all of the many parents in the same situation do? What should parents do when they really cannot afford tuition?”
The parent’s letter concluded with the following plea: “Thank you, A frustrated, hurt and scared parent.”
In response, Rav Yaakov Bender, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway, offered a compassionate and thoughtful reply. He responded:
A: “Unfortunately this is as insoluble as the Israeli situation. But as you know, a couple of things can be done. First, you need to finally shed some light on the entire situation. But as to a tuition break, it is not a tuition break. It is more of a soul-searching of what you must do. You have made the decision to pay tuition over our mortgage. We cannot afford both and while we do get some scholarships we are not getting nearly what we can afford. We daven every day that in the zechus of choosing to pay the rebbeim and teachers of our children we will merit having wonderful kids and also not losing our home.”
Rav Bender’s response recognized the heavy burden that tuition places on parents, but he also expressed a call for patience and faith. He acknowledged the difficult position many families are in, with rising costs and limited financial resources. Rav Bender also affirmed the merit of prioritizing Torah education, even when it leads to personal sacrifice, and suggested that the entire community needs to look for ways to address the crisis together.
This exchange illustrates the ongoing challenge of balancing the cost of Jewish education with the financial realities many families face today.