The issue of older singles seeking shidduchim in the United States continues to be a concern, and several roshei yeshivos have decided to do their hsihtadlus to address this phenomenon, or at least try to partially mitigate it. To this end, a delegation of roshei yeshiva from the United States will arrive in Eretz Yisroel tomorrow, Thursday, to receive the guidance and opinion of the Maran Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch, rosh yeshiva of Yeshivas Slabodka, on the matter.
As reported numerous times here on Matzav.com over the past 15 years, there are thousands of older single girls in the Litvishe communities in the United States who are seeking shidduchim and seemingly having a difficult time doing so. Some girls have not gone on dates in years. Others haven’t gone out at all.
One explanation for this phenomenon is that Litvishe boys initially start dating at a later age, because most bochurim in the United States go to learn in Eretz Yisroel for at least a couple of years. The problem is that they go to Eretz Yisroel at a relatively late age.
What happens is that boys return to the United States at the age of 22, 23 or 24, and then they begin dating. In the meantime, an age gap is created between the boys and the girls, who start dating at the ages of 18-19.
In Eretz Yisroel, askanim pointed out to Matzav.com, this phenomenon does not exist, because the phenomenon of starting dating at such a late age does not exist. On the contrary, in recent years, yeshiva bochurim have started dating at a younger age than was customary 10 or 20 years ago.
An askan involved in addressing the age gap issue told Matzav.com, “The roshei yeshiva do not want to take sole responsibility for such a fateful question. Therefore, they made a decision that several leading roshei yeshiva will travel to Eretz Yisroel for a few hours and consult with the leader of the yeshivos in Eretz Yisroel, Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch, and whatever he decides they will follow.”
It should be noted that besides the fact that Rav Hirsch is the authority today in the Olam Hayeshivos in Eretz Yisroel, he is also very familiar with the Olam Hayeshivos in the United States, both due to his American background and the fact that he has been dealing with this issue for many years.
The delegation traveling to meet with Rav Hirsch includes Rav Mordechai Dick, rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva Heichal HaTorah in Monsey, Rav Mendel Slomovits, rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva Toras Chaim of Lakewood, and the Novominsker Rebbe.
One of the issues that is expected to be discussed is the “freezer,” a period of time during which bochurim newly-enrolled in certain American yeshivos after returning from Eretz Yisroel are prohibited from dating, a practice that is not believed to be the cause of the shidduch crisis, but seems to exacerbate it significantly. The question is whether adjusting the freezer or doing it away with it altogether can help alleviate the crisis. The roshei yeshiva will discuss this as well.
Numerous efforts have been undertaken over the years to address the age gap and general shidduchim issues. One is the NASI Project’s efforts to publicize the age gap issue. Another is a group of shadchanim in Lakewood, NJ, selflessly and altruistically organized and funded by Rav Moshe Bender, assistant dean of Yeshiva Darchei Torah, who are focused on redding shidduchim and trying to get more and more people to go out on dates.
{Matzav.com}