The Vizhnitzer Rebbe, who visited the US last week, spoke out against the “general” Chassidish yeshivos who expel bochurim who get engaged at the age of 18. Speaking at a gathering together with his cousin, the Vizhnitzer Rebbe of Monsey, the Rebbe expressed his pain on the matter. “In past generations, they married at a very young age. Nowadays not as much but nevertheless, I have grievances against several yeshivos that forbid their talmidim from getting married during Shiur Beis even if the bochur is already 18, and they only allow them to get engaged after Shavuos of Shiur Beis. This is the minhag in several yeshivos, even in ones that operate according to Chassidish minhagim.” “In my view, this is incorrect. I’ve said more than once that it’s incorrect to make such a takanah in the yeshivos because it’s contrary to our Torah HaKedoshah.” “I raise the issue but not everyone agrees to accept it. There are yeshivos where it’s forbidden to speak about shidduchim before the age of 20. My father, z’tl, (the Yeshuos Moshe) would respond severely – when bochurim who were already 18 would come to him, he would exhort them to hurry and not delay shidduchim. Yeshivos who act in the ruach of chassidus that push off shidduchim until after age 18 is a severe matter.” The Vizhniter Rebbe of Monsey responded: “The yeshivos that are manhig like this present it as a precondition from the start.” Vizhnitzer Rebbe: “According to the stipulation, if the bochur becomes involved with a shidduch before Shavuos, he has to leave yeshivah. This matter pains me. When they come to me to ask about a shidduch for a bochur who’s 17.5, and the bochur is ready, I say that he can get engaged. But it’s true that before the age of 18, I don’t push because our generation is not like the previous ones.” Vizhnitzer Rebbe of Monday: “For this reason, it might be appropriate to do the opposite, to start even earlier than what was customary in the past.” Vizhnitzer Rebbe: “Therefore it pains me so much that in some Chassidish yeshivos, if they find out that a bochur got engaged prior to the stipulated time according to the regulations, the chasan must leave the yeshivah – do you have an eitzah on the matter?” Vizhnitzer Rebbe of Monsey: “It’s not my inyan to sort out everything happening in the world.” Vizhnitzer Rebbe: “I didn’t discuss it with the Roshei Yeshivos but I already told the Vizhnitzer chassidim who are involved in chinuch in these yeshivos that they can convey in my name that this regulation is against halacha. If I had the chance to discuss this with the heads of the yeshivos, I would tell them my opinion.” Vizhnitzer Rebbe of Monsey. “Their taina is that the yeshivah is weakened as a result.” Vizhnitzer Rebbe: “It’s possible to take care of the matter in various ways. Your late father, z’tl (the Toras Mordechai) would certainly not have agreed to such a regulation. Is it shayach to enact a regulation that is neged halacha for any reason?” The Rebbe’s son-in-law, HaRav Menachem Mendel Hagar, then interjected that a bochur once told HaGaon HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, z’tl that he was accepted to two yeshivos – one where the bochurim […]
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